Poker Face
by Levi Ackerman
Summary: When the Sannin gathered to play poker together, there was no way it could have turned out well for Tsunade, with her miserable luck... or could it have? Rated M for - Sannin threesome.


_Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or the Sannin._

_Warning: Contains mature content, some explicit scenes and a threesome. Do not proceed if any of this offends you. And don't say I didn't warn you._

_Author's Note: This has been playing in my head for a while. I just had to get it down. It's been inspired by a piece of fanart on Deviantart, by sora-ko, called 'Sannin Strippoker'. Most of you must have already seen it, but if you haven't just type 'Sannin Strippoker' on google, and click on the first link you get. (I'd post the link, but messes up all links) It's an amazing fanart, though I've made a rather naughty story of it =P_

_Oh, and the Sannin are around eighteen or nineteen in this. Enjoy! _

!#$%!#$%

"Four of a kind," Tsunade said triumphantly, flipping over her cards, a victorious glint in her amber eyes.

"Straight flush!" Jiraiya retorted gleefully, rubbing his hands together after he slammed his own deck down, "Looks like the robe is off..."

"What?" Tsunade cried, now looking panicked, "No! It'll be Orochimaru this time, not me!"

She turned to her pale teammate, looking at him almost desperately.

A smirk tugged at Orochimaru's lips as he laid down card after card, his movements agonizingly slow, as Jiraiya cackled madly, and Tsunade shivered in anticipation.

Ten of spades.

Jack of spades.

"..."

Queen of spades.

"Yes! Come on, come on, come on!" Jiraiya muttered, his eyes darting perversely towards his female teammate who was now shaking violently, her fists clenched.

King of spades.

"No..." Tsunade whispered fearfully, "You couldn't have..."

Ace of spades.

"YES!" Jiraiya punched the air.

"DAMNIT!" Tsunade roared, banging her fist down, and a large crack appeared on the table surface.

"Royal Flush. I'm so sorry, Tsunade-chan," Orochimaru purred, his green eyes raking over his now glowering female team-mate, "But I believe you have lost. _Again._"

"Fuck," Tsunade swore, while Jiraiya began bouncing up and down in excitement.

"Tsunade-hime," Orochimaru said encouragingly, his voice laced with amusement, "You know what you have to do..."

"Screw you both!" Tsunade muttered, as she yanked open the sash tying her robe together, and pulled it off with one smooth movement.

She hurled it across the room, where it joined the pile of her previously 'lost' clothes; a pair of shoes and her ninja headband. So far, all Jiraiya had lost was the headband. Orochimaru hadn't taken off a thing.

But she couldn't lose again. No one could have such bad luck so often. It wasn't possible.

So Tsunade grit her teeth, tossing back her hair as she dealt out the next set of cards, determined to win.

She steadfastly ignored Jiraiya's whistle as his eyes roved over her form-fitting black fishnet t-shirt. Orochimaru was gazing at her from the other side as well, though somehow that didn't bother her that much.

After all, she and Jiraiya both knew it was only a matter of time until Orochimaru walked out of the closet.

!#$%!#$%

"NO!" Tsunade shrieked, "This is impossible! This can't be happening! I had a full house! You can't get that many good cards in a row!"

"Ah, but it has, dear Tsunade-chan," Orochimaru said smoothly, one eyebrow raised delicately, "I hope you are aware of what comes next..."

He trailed off, his green eyes flicking over her t-shirt, and Tsunade hugged her arms around herself.

Jiraiya, in the meanwhile, had his hands clamped to his nose, his face bright red.

"You've cheated," Tsunade fumed, "You false-shuffled, or something!"

"_You_ dealt the cards, Tsunade-hime," Orochimaru pointed out.

"I think – I think we should stop now," Tsunade advised, changing tactics as she began to get up, "We've played enough! It's getting boring..."

However, a pale hand grasped her wrist, the slender fingers wrapping around firmly.

"You can't forfeit," Orochimaru said silkily, "It's against the rules... you know what happens if you quit half-way..."

Tsunade ground her teeth, glaring it him, but the pale-faced teen only smiled back, rather creepily, before brushing a few strands of long black hair from his face.

"If you quit, we tell Dan that you were playing strip-poker with us. And I have a feeling he won't be too happy about that..." Orochimaru trailed off meaningfully, and Tsunade let out a string of rather colourful expletives.

"We're waiting," Orochimaru said patiently, his hand sliding from her arm onto her waist, as he fingered the black cloth, "If you require assistance, I'm sure we could-"

"NO!" Tsunade said vehemently, batting away his hand, though she was blushing furiously.

Orochimaru smirked.

"I-I'll do it, okay!" she snapped, "Just – ugh – why did I agree to this in the first place?"

"Because you are addicted to gambling," Orochimaru supplied.

"And you lost all your money playing Blackjack during our last mission," Jiraiya piped up, "So the only thing you could bet with was clothes."

"So what is it, Tsunade-hime?" Orochimaru hissed, "The shirt, or the pants?"

Tsunade sighed loudly, before hooking her fingers underneath the cloth of the t-shirt.

She yanked it off with one pull, before swiftly drawing her knees to her chest, to hide what she could.

Thank Kami she'd chosen to wear a decent bra at least (black and lacy).

Or maybe not – she could feel both her teammate's eyeballing her, and it was unnerving, humiliating – and perhaps, more than a little flattering.

_I'm so sorry, Dan..._

Tsunade turned red in mortification, wrapping her arms around her knees as she tried to hide as much of her ample chest as she could.

The room was silent, for a moment, before Orochimaru spoke, his voice unnaturally soft.

"Tsunade-chan... you lost... that means you also have to deal..."

Tsunade cursed again, lowering her knees – how else would she deal?

!#$%!#$%

The next round, Tsunade's luck went from rotten to even more rotten. The pants were soon off, followed by yet another loss. But she couldn't go further.

Jiraiya and Orochimaru gazed at her, eyes dark.

They were her teammates. She was crossing a line. She'd already crossed one earlier that night, but if she crossed it again, there was no turning back.

_Dan..._

And yet, Tsunade couldn't deny it.

There was a hunger in Orochimaru's startlingly green eyes, a predatory look that she'd never seen on his usually impassive face. She'd always found him handsome, with his pale skin, chiselled features, silky black hair, and hands... such slender, perfectly made hands. Tsunade had often had sinful dreams about those pale hands, wondering how it would feel to have them trace across her skin... but he'd been gay, or at least she'd thought he had...

And Jiraiya – she wasn't stupid. She knew Jiraiya lusted for her. Jiraiya lusted for any creature with oestrogen. But Jiraiya had always liked her _more _and he'd grown from being that annoying, chubby little kid. She'd seen him, without a shirt; all gleaming tan skin and hard muscles and perfectly sculpted chest and washboard abs.

They were both opposites. Orochimaru was quieter, more delicate, more chivalrous – and stunningly handsome, and far more sensual. Jiraiya was loud, brash, overly passionate and had a rugged animalism about him.

They were both the antithesis of one another. The antithesis of _Dan, _who was a perfect gentlemen. He didn't have weird fetishes with women, or porn, or snakes, or knives, or tongues – like her teammates.

He didn't have fetishes like _her. _

She'd already come this far. What would be the point of turning back.

There was one rule that Tsunade always followed when it came to gambling – no matter how badly the odds are turned against you, never quit. Never back down.

And considering the growing bulge in Jiraiya's pants which was now very visible, and the hungry look in Orochimaru's eyes – Tsunade decided that for once, the odds were in her favour.

"So," Orochimaru whispered after a while, his voice husky, "Top or bottom, Tsunade-chan? Which one is it going to be?"

Tsunade looked at him coyly, her finger sliding underneath the black lace.

"I think I'm going to need some help deciding," she murmured softly, biting her lip.

!#$%!#$%

She would rot in hell. She was already rotting in hell.

Tsunade knew that.

But it didn't matter, as she lay tangled among the sheets with her teammates – _both _her teammates, stark naked except for the necklace that dangled between her breasts.

She could feel Jiraiya, hard and hot behind her, his hands roaming enthusiastically across her chest, fondling and squeezing; she could feel his manhood, pressed up against her.

She knew she was fulfilling his most erotic fantasy, though she'd never quite known that Orochimaru would star in it as well.

Spreaking of Orochimaru... Tsunade bit back a moan, as his lips traced patterns on the skin between her shoulder and collar-bone, his skilful fingers trailing up her inner thigh, teasing her in the most pleasurable of ways. She was dripping for him, and when he finally touched her where she was aching for him, biting down on her neck at the same time, she had to release a scream.

It wasn't the last scream that night.

If there was anything Orochimaru was better at than using his beautiful fingers – it was using that long, flexible tongue... and Jiraiya, of course, was _very _experienced with how to pleasure women…

!#$%!#$%

After that night, that one blissfully sinful night, that one _mistake – _things went downhill.

There was war, and orphans, and missing children, and experiments gone bad.

Orochimaru left, Jiraiya left, and soon Tsunade left as well.

Their old games were forgotten, and the years passed, with no communication from Orochimaru's side, and a bare minimum between Jiraiya and Tsunade.

Ironically enough, when 'Icha Icha Delight' released thirty years later, it featured a rather steamy scene between the heroine and not one, but _two _of her best friends. Even more ironic, was the poker scene that occurred in the previous chapter.

And when Tsunade sat at her Hokage table, Jiraiya's book hidden by the fake cover, (The History of Clan Politics in Konoha) she suddenly felt hot, as old memories replayed themselves in her head.

As for Orochimaru – he never got his hands on the book, and whether or not he cared was unknown to anyone. However, the neck-biting fetish seemed to stay with him over the years, though no one knew that the inky patterns of the Cursed Seals were really a pathetic mockery of the loving ministrations that had been traced by lips over smooth skin decades back.

And when they fought, years later, and he somehow managed to impale her with his sword-tongue right in the chest... it bought back flashbacks, in the middle of the battle, to all three who were present.

!#$%!#$%

_A/N – There, it's done. I totally twisted their relationship. I don't know why I like this so much. I screwed them up badly. I'm sorry if this offends anyone, but I did warn you. If you liked it, please review! _

_Oh and Taichi09 thanks for the correction ;) i fixed it! I got rather confused, because sometimes when my family plays we do it with three cards, where royal flush is below three of a kind =P but anyways, thanks!__  
_


End file.
